HIS Story

When I was single I took things to the edge with life and realized that happiness wasn’t where I had been looking and that there had to be something more.

So I got married to the LOVE OF MY LIFE. Started a family, bought a home in the suburbs and did what I thought everyone was supposed to do but was MISERABLE doing the same thing day after day, month after month, year after year.

I thought maybe if I had more MONEY that would fill in the hole in my soul which didn’t solve it. I thought maybe it was my CAREER but that didn’t work either. I was even given a WAKE UP CALL (April 2000) and nearly became paralyzed but still it didn’t solve the emptiness.

Then one day (March 2008) it came all crashing down when the economy changed and I was forced to look deep into my soul to figure out what really matters.

From that day on I got off the fence I was riding on and set off to figure it out.

The following is from my journal on what happened….

March 1, 2008 – January 19, 2009 (11 months)

I tried to solve our financial struggles on my own without Heavenly Father (HF).

More details:

The company I was a partner in went up in flames. We laid everyone off. For 11 months I tried to save an investment that my company was in charge of building that both I and some of my extended family invested in but wasn’t able to save it. Everyone else I worked with pretty much went on to other things. It was a dark time. I was so mad at God.

Here is the letter I wrote to my stake president summarizing the past year.

January 20, 2009 – January 14, 2010 (12 months)

My HEART changed forever once I realized my HF was in control of my life. I was ALL fired up to change the world but still had major challenges with trying to solve it without my wife. The following comes from my JOURNAL after this change.

More Details:

I was a lost soul and tried to re-find myself. What happens when you’ve been heading on a road for so long that your sure is the right way that ends up being wrong? Then what? How could I ever trust myself again? I had certain impressions to do certain things that ended up blowing up. Now what?

I was blessed to receive DIRECTION for our family which I often messed up in the APPLICATION of it. My path hasn’t always been a straight shot but I’ve done my best to go in the right direction. I just do what I’m told, the best way I know how. Men are built like a MACK truck. If we are told to plow a field. We will plow it alright and everything around it.

Sometimes I tried to carry out HF plan using the Devils tools (control, force, ultimatum etc…).

There was I and Her and NO US.

I kept getting the thought, “Get closer to Hiedi, Get closer to Hiedi!” I kept saying, are you serious? What about income and I would get a stupor of thought.

I wanted to protect Hiedi by not including her in slaying the DRAGON which was wrong. Hiedi was all DRESSED UP for game time and I benched her for the entire game.

Success means NOTHING unless my WIFE AND FAMILY is standing there by my side.

FEAR is like Water to Oil for the Priesthood.

PRIDE is a killer and I think one of the most deadliest stealth sins because many times it’s not detected by radar. It just sneaks ride in. The entire nation of the B of M was destroyed because of PRIDE. They were poor, found God, then became wealthy and prideful and forgot God etc…

Using the Priesthood without Hiedi was like PADDLING a boat with 1 paddle.

I felt like I was HOLDING BACK the biggest river and not allowing it to flow naturally. I could hear in my mind, “I CAN WAIT”. Wait for what I thought. Then I realized I needed to involve Hiedi.

I used to think how is the world going to SURVIVE ECONOMICALLY which isn’t the problem. It’s the SURVIVAL of husband and wife’s relationship within the family unit which is the challenge.

Scriptures that come to mind are:

Neither is the man without the Women or the Women without the Man in the Lord.

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I SHALL FEAR NO evil for God is with me.

I will go before your face, I will be on your right hand and your left and MY ANGELS round about you to bear you up.

It’s easy to CLIMB A MOUNTAIN by yourself. The hard part is to help others climb it with you and allow others to help you climb it and maybe even use a different trail other than yours.

I used to think my BIGGEST FEAR was loosing my home and everything I had worked for which wasn’t true. My darkest fear was LOOSING My wife and family because I wasn’t able to provide for them. I felt like their Love for me was CONDITIONAL which was wrong.

It was sometimes HARD to follow the spirit and experience the challenges of life but when I knew Hiedi was not only by my side but ACTIVELY involved I could do anything.

TRUE LOVE is accepting others unconditionally. I finally accept the fact that Hiedi doesn’t drive like me. In the past my temperature would rise and I would try to control her. Now I just accept the fact that she drives differently than me and it’ll never change (Ha, Ha).

When you’re UNITED as a couple. The adversary has no power.

Priesthood authority is done by ordination. In order for me to tap into the INFINITE power of the Priesthood I needed to include my wife.

 January 15, 2010 – March 18, 2011 (15 months)

HF wasn’t going to allow for any success until Hiedi and I worked together as one. The following comes from my journal after I started including my wife:

More Details:

By this time we were out of money. We had sold all our other investments that had kept us a float and didn’t know where to turn. The bank was closing in on our dream home that we had built and we were out of resources.

Hiedi has been so supportive. When I get down she reminds me of the eternal perspective and not just the fear of our temporal needs.

Hiedi would have giving anything to not get pregnant again because of how sick she gets but did it out of trust which has turned out to be our biggest blessing on multiple levels.

She spends the least amount of our limited resources by shopping at the Deseret Industries (thrift store) etc… You’d never know the way the kids are dressed.

She went to the Bishops Storehouse to get food because it was something we needed to experience.

Our water got shut off due to late payment and I hit my breaking point. Hiedi calmly found an unlikely solution and drove with me down to the city to solve it before the kids came home from school.

I have been able to focus on what I need to do then with pleasing a wife with high expectations.

I fear where I and the kids would be right now with a wife that didn’t understand.

Pioneer Trek was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, especially to be a Pa & Ma with Hiedi. There were 32 families, 400+ people, walking 25+ miles in the middle of the desert in July with only the necessities and I’ve never been happier (July 2010).

Heidi summarized the experiences we’ve had in 3 simple sentences:

    1. I can live without money.
    2. I can’t live without God.
    3. I can’t live without my Husband and family.

Through all this I’ve realized to Enjoy the Journey and not to put it on Hold. Enjoy the simple things of life with my family. HF will bless me. Maybe not in the way I would expect but then again he is my HF, he loves me and he knows what’s BEST

March 19, 2011 – August 8,2013

Stake conference had a huge impact on Hiedi and I especially Elder Costa (President of the 70’s) with how simple he has lived in Brazil and felt impressed to make some huge changes.

Since Hiedi has been pregnant and sick I’ve been in charge of a lot of the house hold duties. I honestly don’t see how she’s been able to maintain our home in the past and still have time to spend with our children let alone herself. This was a huge eye opener to me that maybe we were managing way to much STUFF.

Moved

Hiedi’s father is on a mission in Equator and we’ve moved into his home temporarily. Through this move we have been able to get rid of all of our un-needful STUFF and simplify in order to be able to spend more time as a family.

We were given the option to keep our home and significantly reduce our mortgage but felt like it wasn’t the right decision for us. Our decision to leave our home has been all by CHOICE.

Despite what it may look like. We couldn’t be HAPPIER to finally know our next move. We feel a huge sense of adventure and freedom for this next chapter. We have been BLESSED every step of the way.

Hiedi had our new baby girl Paislee in May 2011. She is the light of our life and made it all worth it. She has added so much to our family.

CIMG9658 - Copy

December 2011 Hiedi is pregnant with a baby boy.

May 2012 we lived with our in-laws in their home after they came back from their mission. We learned a lot. The grand kids loved being around their grandparents who have helped out so much especially when our new boy Lachlan was born in August 2012.

Lacklan

August 8, 2013  to Present

We moved to a small town of around 500 people and are excited for our next adventure. I work on the Internet which allows for us to live here. We have learned so much and are so grateful for everything in our lives.

All the Best!

PS: Click here to read Hiedi’s Story.
PPS: Click HERE for all our Videos & Please LIKE our Facebook Fan Page.

 

Ren and Hiedi

Kids Pic