Fail Forward

October 3, 2014

Ren Posts

Last night I watched the movie Finding Forrester staring Sean Connery that was made in 2000. It’s about this African-American boy Jamal Wallace that was raised in the Bronx but became this brilliant writer by following his mentor William Forrester (Sean Connery).

Finding Forrester

Jamal began writing after his father left his Mom. He would carry this journal in his pocket and write his deepest thoughts. He would also read these deep meaning books.

Anyway there were certain things that were said in the movie that stood out to me and made a lot of sense.

* The words we write for ourselves are so much better than words we write for others.

* The first draft you write is with your HEART. You re-write with your Head.

* The first key to writing is to write not to think.

So this is how I’m going to write today.

I had a cool thought that hit me strong yesterday. I’ve kind of been holding my breath with moving forward with our business. I have felt like I needed to include my wife Hiedi in all the details of every decision I make.

So here’s the thought.

As the father of our home one of my main responsibilities is to provide for my family. Well with this role I get certain impressions to do certain things.

Let’s look at an EXAMPLE first before I go into it. Lets say I get an impression for our family to become closer.

An impression doesn’t come with all the instructions with HOW to accomplish this but just the impression and its kind of up to me with how I accomplish it.

Something’s I try will work better than other things but I need to take action and fail forward in order to progress and become closer as a family by following this impression.

Many times I get so scared waiting for the most perfect solution that everything stops. I get so scared that I’ll make a mistake that nothing happens until I go forward. Some decisions I make with this impression may work out better than other things but the important part is I move forward.

More Reading: Start Moving and Never Perfect

Also a mistake is different then a sin. A mistake is missing #7 on a math test. A sin is loosing your temper or coveting your neighbor’s boat.

There is a big difference.

Now the reason I go into this is because I’ve had some pretty strong impression the last few years with my career and providing for my family but the details instructions didn’t come with this impression.

Its kind of up to me to stumble my way through it all. Some stuff I do will work better than others and honestly some stuff will actually fail.

Does this mean the impression was wrong? NO.

I’ve got to Fail forward and take action and stop waiting for it to just magically fall from the sky.

More Reading: About Being Wrong

So now this brings us to Hiedi and involving her with every little decision I make in our business. I need the keys to be able to start moving again rather than discussing every little turn that comes up in our path.

So last night Hiedi and I went on a date to our favorite restaurant. I told Hiedi that I just need the power to be able to make business decision without involving her to a certain degree.

She agreed and was actually very relieved. I also told her that every decision I make isn’t going to be perfect. Something’s are going to fail and some will succeed but I need to be able to be free to move forward.

Now all this talk sound like Hiedi is some controlling wife that’s she’s not. This is an issue with MYSELF based on some stupid decisions I made back when the market changed in 2008.

Up to that point I was relatively successful with providing for our family but after the economy crashed I was a lost soul that just tried to feel his way through the rubble and I made some stupid mistakes.

I made some large decisions without including Hiedi that blew up. One huge mistake was that I took out a large loan on our home and invested it in a construction project that we were building that ended up going up in flames. I tried for 11 months to save it but didn’t.

Now this is going to sound crazy but do I regret everything we’ve gone through? NO but that’s another story. Should have I done something’s differently then I did. YES absolutely.

But isn’t that how life is supposed to be. It’s never perfect. Life is a risk and the more we live it the more we risk. Now I’m not talking about doing crazy things like extreme sports but isn’t it better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all.

I love the scripture in Corinthians 11:11 that says:

Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.

So here’s the simple solution with being one with my wife.

She gives me the keys to the smaller decision in our business without including her but I need to include her in the major major decisions where the risk is much greater.

Ok this is kind of funny but I have these weird rules in life that I live by. I’m not the kind of person that can cook a meal without a recipe. Black and white rules give me comfort because there’s no surprises and it will come out the same every time.

So here’s some rules of mine I live by related to Physical Activities.

For an example let’s say I’m riding my mountain bike on some extreme hill and I come to a cliff. Here’s the rules that go through my head.

1- Will this Kill me? Ok if I jump my mountain bike off this cliff and make a mistake will it kill me? If the answer is yes then I don’t do it.

2- Will this permanently disable me? If the answer is Yes then I don’t do it.

3- Will I just get hurt? If I do this and the worst thing that will happen is break a bone that will eventually heal. Then the answer is YES and I jump off the cliff.

And I’ll be honest many things in life that appear like they’ll kill you at first only give you a few bruises and scrapes.

So I guess the same thing would apply with Hiedi and our family. If the decision I make in business is going to wipe us out and in a sense kill us then involve Hiedi but if the worst thing that will happen is a few bumps and bruises then just go forward and don’t look back so much or analysis everything to death before making a move.

All the Best!

Ren Sign
Here’s a picture of me on my mountain bike. My brothers made fun of me because it took me 4 hours to get the nerve up to jump. ha ha.
Mountain bike jump off cliff
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