How to Discipline

October 30, 2012

Inspirational, Ren and Hiedi

How to Discipline

A few years ago we were new parents struggling with how to teach our children. Our pediatrician recommended a book called 123 Magic.

 How to Discipline

We liked it because there was no spanking or yelling. If our child started to do something wrong we would say 1, if they continued we would say 2 and if they kept doing it we would without saying a word put them in time out for 5 minutes or more depending on what they did.

Sometimes it was just a straight 3 and off to time out they went. Other times they would throw a temper tantrum and would be in time out for much longer then 5 minutes until they calmed down.

We love it and have tried to follow what it says but every so often we get off track and resort to yelling at the kids to get them to do anything.

How to Discipline when you’ve hit your breaking point

When Hiedi was pregnant and sick most of my time was spent with Mr. Mom duties. I would have to reel the kids in every so often. I would be at my breaking point and on the verge of a blow up . I was so exhausting with all my lip service trying to get the kids to do something simple.

They wouldn’t move until I screamed which drove the spirit out causing a darkness in the home. I also wanted to avoid the spanking route with all the tears and the guilt that comes after.

So I would give myself a break and put them in timeout for a while sometimes 1 hour or so. Then they would start listening to me without the yelling.

It was like Detox!

Sometimes after the kids have been on a long trip with their cousins, after the new baby or after the holidays Hiedi and I will put them through detox to get them to start being nice to each other again.

It’s kind of funny in a way. Hiedi will say there’s a new Sherriff in town! The kids new what that meant. The time for letting things slide was gone. They either listen to Mom and Dad or do the time.

How to Discipline

I believe the families that are the happiest are the ones that are strict. The kids respect their parents. There is no yelling because the kids know the parents mean business with just a look.

If the kids don’t have respect for Hiedi and I when it’s just our family. It’s worse when we are in public. The kids are like sharks that smell blood in the water. They’ll think:

I can do what ever I want in front of Grandpa because I’ve got my parents held hostage. They won’t discipline me in front of them.

I believe if our kids respect us in private the chances are greater that they will respect us in public with just the LOOK. They’ll know they crossed the line.

How to Discipline according to Dr. Phil

A while back I was listening to Dr Phil. He said something like:

If as the parent you don’t teach your kids then society will & the punishment will be much greater.

Sometimes the kids would pull our heart-strings when they were in trouble! But then I would think of the alternative if I didn’t discipline them and I was good to follow through.

Dr Phil also said:

It’s much easier to teach them while their young then to play catch up when their older.

If I can’t get my kids to listen to me when there young it’ll be so much harder when their older and the stakes much greater. 123 magic is for when my kids are younger. I havent got to the older phase yet.

This doesn’t mean the kids don’t have freedoms or aren’t happy. It’s just the opposite because their not living in CHAOS! There’s nothing wrong with a child crying and sitting in silence for a while. It allows for the rest of the family to continue to function.

What’s the worst punishment for someone in prison for bad behavior? Solitary confinement until their attitude changes.

No one gets screamed at which I think has a more negative effect then quietly putting them in time out.

It’s much easier said then done. I struggle with teaching our children all the time.

Sometimes I’ll think 123 Magic doesn’t work but it’s because I’m not doing it right.

I’m giving them way too many chances.

I’m not following through with what I say.

I’m talking way too much!

They love all the lip service and attention even if it’s negative. I’ve found that the best thing to do is to not say a word and just walk them into timeout.

A happy home is a home where the Spirit is and the Spirit can’t dwell in a place where Chaos and Yelling exists. Just a thought!

All the Best!

How to Discipline

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PS: Click here to learn more about Ren’s story or Hiedi’s story.

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